Just before the release of a variant of Quake 2 in 2008 id Software and Activision put out an advertisement about the virtues of Stroyant. Now no human being should consider that Stroyant has any virtues, and it is not a product that people should be endorsing in any way, shape or form. You should certainly not volunteer yourself to be turned into Stroyant, though it might not be optional if you run into some Stroggs on your next visit to the high street or your nearest shopping mall. Here are the
Funny Stroyant Advertisement.
Funny benefits for the Stroggs
According to this advertisement then there are definite benefits for Stroggs in increasing their daily intake of Stroyant. The Stroyant gives the Stroggs more energy and staying power so that they can spend more time doing their favorite thing, killing people. For the Stroggs it is funny that the more people they kill the more Stroyant they can have, and in turn they become even better at killing people.
In essence the consuming of Stroyant is a means of achieving a food cycle that can keep on running as long as there are still humans out there to be killed and then turned into the next batch of this virtually unlimited food supply.
It cures PD
Another specifically mentioned benefit of Stroyant is that it is the best cure for Projectile Dysfunction (PD). After all the inability to throw projectiles or kill humans in any other way would be enough to ruin any Strogg’s day. With Stroyant there is no disappointing dips in performance, all Stroggs can continue their existences as lean and really mean killing machines. Green Stroyant is the best that any Strogg can use and they can use it as often as they like.
Sometimes the fakes are better than the real thing
So this piece of fake advertising is better than most real advertising. In particular it is poking fun at the adverts for diet, health and vitamin supplements. Such adverts extol the virtues of these supplements with no proof that these work. Those adverts are most effective at making your wallet lighter if nothing else.
On the other hand each and every Strogg knows that the virtues of Stroyant are well known and true, it is a fake advert that reveals the truth they wished to hide from people. The truth that we are feeding our enemies every day.
Please feel free to volunteer for an early holiday season
The Stroggs are hoping that any humans who watch the fake advert believe it is true and are prepared to volunteer to be turned into Stroyant and make a modest contribution to the end of humanity. They have heard of an old Earth saying invented before political correctness, “like turkeys voting for an early Christmas.”
And to finish it off. . .
As every maker of real and fake adverts knows it is the jingle that makes things stick in your mind. The jingle makes it even funnier. Not sure if it is still available as a ring tone anymore.